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A Voice for Our sisters
Essays to Open our minds
Four women in various stages of their journeys through menopause share their stories.
The Menopause Game Show
by Patricia Brading
 Menopause, or - mental pause. I feel like I am living inside of a game show. Behind each door is a surprise.
Door number one: Hot flashes and swollen breasts. Hot flashes started in my early forties. I started to feel like I was a stripper, especially at night.... I'm hot, I'm cold, my clothes are on, my clothes are off. Here's a word of advice: Don't let anyone tell you it's not a hot flash. For me, they last from a half hour to a full hour. Now, every woman I know wants her breasts to be a little larger, but when you are short, this is not a good thing. Pre-menopause my breasts were a large "B", maybe a small "C", but as I approached fifty, who would have thought "D" was an option? I don't even want to know what size they are when I have my period, which still comes more or less on a regular basis.
Door number two: Hormonal migraines. I used to wonder why all those women on television harmed their husbands. Well, when the headaches began, I thought it was stress. Then I realized they were linked to my periods. I keep thinking that if I take the right amount of herbal remedies, the headaches will disappear, but then I have to function, so I break down and here comes lots of Advil®.
Door number three: Happy day, sad day. I was pretty moody until my thirties, when I made a conscious decision to change and have worked hard to be more balanced. Well, when my periods started to change in my mid forties, so did my moods. I don't mind feeling really happy for no reason, it's the lows that throw me.
I am an aesthetician and work with women every day. Menopause is a "hot" topic with my clients. I am so grateful that I can talk to them, and I find that I am one of the lucky ones that can function and life goes on. Acceptance is the key.
My Menopausal Ride
by Bari Eckler
 When I began to consider how going through menopause has affected me, I asked my husband for his thoughts on the subject. He suggested that the question should address how MY menopause has affected HIM! He was only half joking, and I am able to empathize (sometimes!) with husbands who helplessly watch as their menopausal wives navigate through the treacherous rapids of this change of life.
The first thing I noticed in my own journey was the fatigue - the kind of fatigue that feels like I am dragging an elephant around behind me all day long. The elephant wakes up beside me, straining my limbs as I try to pull him out of bed. He follows me to my office and sits upon me in my chair as I work with clients, blocking my view so I have to peek around him to concentrate on what they are saying.
Along with a sluggish sense of fatigue is a once thin torso that seems to be morphing into a lumpy, shapeless jelly doughnut. Exercising doesn't help, nor does eating less. The favorite jeans that used to be snug in all the right places appear to have suddenly shrunk to Barbie doll size. Because I defiantly refuse to buy elastic waistband slacks, I put up with tummy imprints from pants that are too tight, and save deeper breathing for when I can pop that top button in the privacy of my car.
Although I am still in the midst of this menopausal ride, if I close my eyes and hang on tight, I can feel the thrill of a creative energy deep within my core despite the daily discomforts and bodily changes. It whispers, "Here I am, make room for me" as it propels its way to life. Like a lizard, I'm shedding old skin to make room for a new me. It's expansive, it's breathtaking, and breaks upon me like a heated wave.... Do you think it's just a hot flash?
Menopause - Reclaiming Your Life
by Dee Rincon
 A toast to menopause! Before I could celebrate, I was plagued with joint aches, hot flashes, night sweats, memory loss, sleep disturbances, irregular periods and bleeding, fatigue, wrinkles, dry skin, vaginal dryness, and urinary tract infections. At fifty-two, I wanted my period back because I was grieving my lost youth. Now I realize post-menopause does not have to be doom and gloom. In fact, it can be the best part of my life.
After raising two children, running a household, and working, I needed to find my own special place where I could shine. I reclaimed my identity by joining the Kiwanis Club. Helping others made me feel good, and it took the focus off my menopausal symptoms. The Kiwanis Club allowed me to use my creativity to write an inspirational parenting guidebook. This was the glue that held me together in my transitional period of menopause.
Zig Zigler, a motivational speaker says, "If you want to feel good, dress up." I have taken Zigler's advice along with getting more sleep. I use a good facial moisturizer and a mango body lotion. My hair stylist covers up my gray hair. My hardest battle is exercising and losing weight, and I am determined to work on these this summer. Gravity plays a nasty trick and makes my eyelids sag so that my eyeliner smudges. After I lose weight, I will have a surgeon help my tired eyes.
Menopause wasn't that bad. My children are in their twenties, and I have some free time to pursue the hobbies I love: making jewelry and taking art and piano lessons.
My father left me a legacy, to love life and greet each day with a smile. My advice: Reclaim your identity, take care of your body, find your passion, and you will get through menopause just fine.
The Friend I Never Knew I Had
by Chari Trontz
 As a young woman I remember my anxiety hearing about my friends having their "friend" arrive. This sounded so odd to me, since the only pet name I knew was for my little white poodle.
Fast forward, age 46. I was on an emotional high wire and my life was out of balance. One day I felt a strange sensation. My skin was burning, I was bright red and thought I was having an allergic reaction. This frightening event was diagnosed as an anxiety attack.
I reduced my schedule to take care of myself. Soon there was no question that I was experiencing menopause. I had 15-20 hot flashes at a time, woke drenched, and broke out in tears for no reason. Having a productive day became a challenge. I agreed to a low dose of hormone therapy.
A routine mammogram turned out less than routine, and in days I was dealing with breast cancer. I have heard that menopause can be induced by trauma, and I am convinced that the combination of fear and eight hours of surgery were enough of a shock to my system to take me there. It is said if you have not menstruated for a year you are menopausal. How long the symptoms last is a different story. The beginning of menopause was an enormous blessing for me ~ the message was to stop and take care of myself. For the first time, there was a hint of that "friend", and she seemed to be exiting my life.
Six years later, my periods are gone, but the hot flashes are back with a vengeance. As I log on each morning, on goes my fan and off comes the jacket. I am living in someone else's body, but I can't remember who she is. I always was a list maker, but now I can't find my lists. I try for guided imagery but can't make up my mind what I want to imagine. The beach that was always my "go to" place now needs that prerequisite breeze or why go there.
Can I live with it? Certainly. The lesson is to keep all things in perspective, embrace the changes, control what you can, listen to your body, cut out caffeine and switch to dark chocolate! Remember, it's all a journey and you are not alone.
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